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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me being her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with someone. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an audience. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my version of living actively: noticing the nuances, posting them with an audience that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not all people enjoys being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but companions help each other in minor capacities. I thought recording a clip now and then would be fun for her. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish our friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She must to honor Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some authentic memories, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their bond?